Peejay Ai, a former “juvenile lifer” and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) detainee, met with some San Jose State community members over Zoom Thursday to break down his advocacy work since being released from prison.
Ai dove deep about his time migrating and living in America, how he ended up sentenced to a juvenile detention center for life and how he was able to turn his life around after 19 years incarcerated.
Ai is a Cambodian immigrant who escaped with his family from the genocide in Cambodia after the country became unstable.
“Most refugees come to a country where there is no English,” Ai said. “It's very difficult to adjust, right? And that was one of those stories that came during the time during the ’80s.”
He said it was hard for him to adjust to the environment because he felt like people didn’t like him because of his lack of English.
“So I didn't really understand the culture,” Ai said. “I had a hard time adapting to school. I had a hard time fitting in and it got to a point where, well, I always felt discriminated against and I understand why, you know, people actually, like, went up to you and said, ‘Hey, go back to the country.’ ”
He said he joined a gang in high school because it made him feel protected from bullying.
Ai said he saw his gang members as a family and did whatever they asked him to, which led him to be incarcerated for nearly two decades.
“Eventually I just join a gang to find protection, to find a sense of binding, to find some stuff, you know, family, and I guess that's a common story of a lot,” Ai said.
He said he was scared to serve time because of experiences he heard of and seen in movies – he was fearful of being killed, raped and abused in jail.
Ai said he became friends with a lot of older Native American inmates because they all practiced spirituality, in which he finds passion.
He said together, they performed cleanses and practiced releasing bad energy.
“You know this hardship, you can come out of there as a new person and so I went through the ceremony and came out feeling like a different person,” Ai said. “You know, I felt like all the hardship and the experience of the trauma I grew up with was gone.”
Ai then joined White Bison, a program that helps indigenous individuals find sobriety help.
He said he was able to get involved in restorative justice through the program and change his life around.
“Going through this process to learn it, right, and I think the system is repeating itself the same way, like you can't punish people and expect something better to come out of it,” Ai said. I think the idea of restoring is communication and allowing people to take accountability and understanding where that comes from and who is responsible.”
Ai said that awakening gave him hope and inspiration.
“I changed my life around, I walked away from the gangs, walked away from all the negative stuff on the yard,” Ai said. “No people wanted to because in the prison, politics, you can't walk on your own right, but I was able. I was fortunate.”
Ai said he was afraid when he was released because he didn’t want to be deported.
He said he was later detained by ICE.
“Now it's like I'm choosing to stay in prison, because I don't want to sign to get deported, you know, cause I’m afraid to get deported and I don’t want to be separated from my family,” Ai said. “So I'm choosing to fight my case, I'm choosing to be detained and it eats you up inside, you know, and the condition is horrible.”
Ai said the facility was cold and that he didn’t have anything but one blanket that was used to cover his bed.
He said there were bugs from the blanket because it was out in the yard for months.
Ai said the facility’s environment and circumstances made him want to give up, but receiving letters from the Asian Prisoner Support Committee motivated him to keep going.
“I feel like the community has my back, you know, and I'm not alone even though I looked around and felt alone. But getting those letters, knowing those feelings, I'm not alone anymore,” Ai said.
The Asian Prisoner Support Committee has been spearheading programs in prisons to help organize anti-deportation campaigns, resources and develop re-entry programs since 2002.
The group started off as an all-volunteer organization, but became an established space in Oakland with paid staff in 2017.
The Asian Prisoner Support Committee and the SJSU Center for Asian Pacific Islander Student Empowerment held the webinar with Ai, who is currently a community advocate for that committee.
When Ai was released, he said it was hard returning home not knowing what was new in the world and how to navigate himself through it.
Ai said the Asian Prisoner Support Committee continued to support him when he was out and allowed him to have a foundation whenever he needed help.
“I needed support and so re-entry home allowed me to have a place to stay and I didn’t have to worry about housing, living on the street and then it gave me the time to learn these things,” he said.
Ai said he works with the Asian Prisoner Support Committee because he wants to give back to his community and utilize his experience and knowledge.
He said he’s passionate about his work because he doesn’t want anyone else to go through what he did.
“I wanted to help people come home because a lot of people helped me come home,” Ai said. “You know, I understand the system, I understand the parole system, I understand the system line.”
Jinni Pradhan, SJSU Center for Asian Pacific Islander Student Empowerment director, said she has done a lot of outreach work and networking across campus to build collaboration, capacity and advocacy for the community.
“Our mission really is to kind of create a space for Asian and Pacific Islander students to be able to explore, learn and grow, to empower themselves in all different aspects academically, socially, personally, because we recognize that you all are whole people who bring [themselves] to school,” Pradhan said.
Pradhan said the webinar’s goal was to amplify the work of the Asian Prisoner Support Committee and understand the stereotypes and diversity around Asians and Pacific Islanders.
She said the model-minority myth refers to how Asian and Pacific Islander individuals are labeled as successful people with good grades, but that isn’t always the case.
“But that myth itself also kind of masks the challenges that people in our community face, right?” Pradhan said. “There are folks who are, you know, who are successful and who are skilled in those different ways, but those are not the characteristics of everyone in our community.”
She said being able to collaborate with different departments and non-profit organizations allows the Asian Prisoner Support Committee to bring resources and knowledge to the SJSU community.
“To be able to uplift the stories from the Asian Prisoner Support Committee is honestly a great chance and opportunity for us, but also a great way for us to kind of show what's happening in the community, to our students here at San Jose State and how they can be connected,” Pradhan said.
Kayla Le, forensic biology sophomore with an Asian American studies minor, said despite the Center for Asian Pacific Islander Student Empowerment only having just opened on Nov. 7, the center is helping amplify the Asian and Pacific Islander community.
Le said it’s so important for them to simply have a space where they can be affirmed, be seen as valued and get their needs met.
“I believe that students should educate themselves, share what they learn about the API prisoner population and their high risk of deportation because this is an issue that happens within our own community here in San Jose and even here at SJSU,” they said.
Le said SJSU has a large Southeast Asian and undocumented population that are at risk of incarceration and ICE detention.
Within the SJSU student population, 36.1% are Asian and 0.4% are Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander, according to the university Student Quick Facts webpage.
“In order to protect our community and our fellow students, we need to keep learning about the issue and support them through donations, petitioning, volunteering, letter-writing, etc.,” Le said.
They said collaborating with other organizations has taught them through listening to others’ experiences, allowing them to constantly grow and learn.
