How you feel about your body when you look in the mirror plays a major role in having pleasurable sex.
Poor body image is associated with low libido and low sexual satisfaction, whereas positive body image has been linked to a higher sex drive and positive sexual satisfaction.
Libido is instinctual psychic energy that is derived from primitive biological urges and is expressed in conscious activity, according to Merriam-Webster.
Amanda Walters, a licensed psychologist and sex therapist based in San Jose, said body image influences sex and how someone feels about having it.
“If you feel really amazing about your body, it helps you feel more enthusiastic about sex. It helps you feel more okay about giving and receiving pleasure,” Walters said in a Zoom call. “On the flip side, if you struggle with aspects of your body image, it can make it more challenging to allow yourself to enjoy sex.”
If someone has poor body image, it can distract them during sex because they’re thinking about their insecurities instead of focusing on what they’re doing, according to a Sept. 14 Psychology Today article.
Walters said having negative thoughts about your body during sex can trigger a biological stress response.
“If you're caught in your head thinking self-critical thoughts, it can trigger the stress response in your body,” she said. “That stress response reduces your ability to experience pleasure, especially sexual pleasure.”
Extreme self consciousness can lead someone to experience to “spectatoring,” where they judge or monitor themselves during sex as if they were another person observing from the outside, Walters said.
“And people who have less positive body images tend to engage more in spectatoring and it reduces [their] ability to enjoy the sexual experience because [they’re] not really present,” she said.
Spectatoring can happen to both women and men but women experience it the most, according to the same Psychology Today article.
Body image issues are a problem that affects mostly women. 90% of women and 20-40% of men report body dissatisfaction, according to the same Psychology Today article.
There are two kinds of body image issues that influence a woman sexually: what she thinks of herself and what she believes her partner thinks of her body.
If a woman has poor body image, she will have a low libido and it will affect her sexual satisfaction. Likewise, if she thinks her partner finds her unattractive, that will also lead to low sexual satisfaction, according to a Dec. 20, 2018 Psychology Today article.
The media promotes unrealistic body standards for women that make it almost impossible for them to be considered “beautiful” or “sexy” in the eyes of society. Women are often sexualized and judged for their appearance and if they don’t look a certain way, they are shamed for it.
Body insecurities have less influence on sexual satisfaction in lesbian women compared to heterosexual and bisexual women, according to a May 9, 2019 study by the department of psychology at University of Jaén in Andalucia, Spain.
That’s because heterosexual and bisexual women feel more pressure to fit the beauty standards defined by the “male gaze,” causing them to be more susceptible to sexual dissatisfaction and insecurity when they can’t meet those impossible ideals, according to the same study.
The male gaze is the idea that women are sexual objects who solely exist for the pleasure of men, according to a Sept. 11 Verywell Mind article. By removing themselves from the male gaze, women are more confident in their bodies and this helps them to have a better sexual experience.
Verywell Mind focuses on mental health topics and provides answers to wellness questions, according to its website.
Men can also have poor body image but it’s more common for women and doesn’t affect men as much during sex. Women report higher levels of appearance-based distraction during sexual activity than men, according to a Nov. 24, 2009 study by the department of psychology at the University of Texas, Austin.
However, men are more likely to experience performance anxiety during sex, according to the Sept. 14 Psychology Today article.
Performance anxiety is stress about sex, particularly the ability to perform well during sex, according to a February 2020 WebMD article.
Walters said in her experience, while women aren’t the only ones who struggle with body image and stress during sex, they’re most affected by it and focus on it more.
Aspects of body image that predict sexual satisfaction for women include weight, physical condition, sexual attractiveness and thoughts about the body during sex, according to the same study by the department of psychlogy at UT Austin.
Women aged 14 to 74 years reported body image satisfaction was associated with greater comfort with one’s body during sexual activity, higher frequency of sexual behavior, increased initiation of sexual activity by the women and increased orgasm frequency, according to a Dec. 28, 2000 study by licensed psychologist Dr. Diann M. Ackard, who specializes in eating and body image disorders.
There are ways to combat negative body image when it comes to sex.
Becoming a “critical thinker” when using social media and not comparing yourself to others, as hard as that may be, can prevent body image issues, according to the Sept. 14 Psychology Today article. Being kind to yourself and surrounding yourself with positive people who don’t constantly discuss their bodies can help as well.
“I think mindfulness is one of the most useful tools with sex in general really, like when we're talking about sexual issues,” Walters said.
