When I look in the mirror, I see a young and confident woman who accepts every part
of herself.
However, when I was younger, I lacked the confidence to accept my biracial appearance, especially when it came to my hair.
A little background about my race and who I am: my father is Black, my mother is white and I’m mixed with brown curly hair.
Braided, coiled into cute space buns or down and flowy – I never thought anything of how I styled my natural hair when I was a kid.
It wasn’t until someone in school asked me, “Why is your hair like that?”
I just stared blankly at them, confused about what they were asking me.
After realizing that looking “different” meant looking biracial, I kept asking my mom to straighten my hair so it would be “normal.”
Of course, she refused because my mom loved my hair just the way it was.
Being young, it was hard to grasp that concept.
My parents found ways to help me embrace my Black culture and I was happy with that temporarily.
Then came the mean and catty middle school bullies.
For wearing my hair naturally, I was called “Spaghetti-Os,” “Curly Fry Head” and “Ramen Noodles.” To those kids, it was just playful, but it made me insecure.
I lost my confidence, I cut my hair and frequently straightened it to fit in with everyone else.
That’s the cost of society labeling “beautiful” as usually blonde, straight hair with light, blue-colored eyes and a European look.
Hollywood puts such an emphasis on Eurocentric beauty and it has become embedded in
everybody’s heads.
According to Dictionary.com, Eurocentric is defined as focusing on European culture to the exclusion of a wider view of the world, regarding European culture as preeminent.
Actresses who fit a Eurocentric definition of beautiful are more likely to be famous.
Scarlett Johansson is one example of a white woman Hollywood just can’t get enough of and she fits all the predetermined characteristics.
Actresses who are Black or mixed usually do not wear their natural hair in big, box office movies.
In the 2004 film “Catwoman” starring biracial actress Halle Berry, her character had straight hair dyed blonde even though Berry’s natural hair texture has big voluminous curls.
Another example of Hollywood whitewashing a Black woman’s natural hair is the movie “Mission: Impossible II,” starring actress Thandie Newton.
Newton’s natural hair is also curly, but in the movie her hair was straightened to give her more sex appeal.
I tried to emulate this beauty standard in my youth by continuously straightening my hair.
It eventually became so fried that I had to constantly cut it short.
One night when I was about to straighten my hair, I looked in the mirror and saw my hair no longer resembled curls but rather limp, deflated noodles. I started to cry because I had destroyed my hair to the point where it could no longer grow.
This was when I decided I was no longer going to straighten my hair.
As time went by, I cared less about “fitting in” because once I stopped the destructive routine, my hair looked so healthy and my curls began to look beautiful.
When I met actress Madison Pettis, known for her role in “The Game Plan,” the confidence she had rocking her natural hair influenced me to accept who I was.
My crazy big hair means more than just a stylish look: it is a part of the beautiful Black culture that I am so proud to be a part of it.
Now my hair is something people would beg to have and when I think back to a time when people called me “Curly Fry Head,” it makes me want to change how Black beauty is defined.
I want to be a role model to little girls who have my same hair type or even curlier. By wearing my natural hair, I want to represent and inspire them to be comfortable with their gorgeous natural hair.
