Before even rolling out of bed in the morning, I check my phone and spend about 30 minutes scrolling through social media apps like Instagram, X and TikTok. As embarrassing as that is to say, it’s the reality.
Like any other 21-year-old, social media is a big part of my life, whether I like to admit it or not.
After I do my daily catching up on socials I text my boyfriend. If we happen to be waking up next to each other, though, the itch to go through that man’s phone kills me.
Honestly, the reason why I have this urge to check what he’s doing is mainly due to social media. Accounts like @justinlaboy posting memes about cheating and the comment section being filled with over 100 comments of men and women saying “if only they knew,” is part of the reason I have trust issues.
The idea of scrolling through Instagram and seeing a half-naked girl with a Brazilian butt lift and my boyfriend's social media handle in the likes haunts me. I mean, I’m a pretty confident person but when I see things like this it’s hard not to compare myself to these bodies with cosmetic surgery.
I try to tell myself “Oh it’s just a picture,” but as soon as I open up TikTok the first video that pops up is someone saying “If he likes another girls picture, he’s acknowledging that he likes what he sees and that’s not your man, that’s our man.” Other times, it’s a video saying to repost with this sound or your relationship will fail. I mean, what is up with that algorithm, how do you know what the hell is going on in my head?
Oftentimes, when scrolling through my timeline, whether it be TikTok, Instagram or X, influencer couples post a lot of content with their partner and paint a picture of “the perfect couple.”
Austin Mcbroom and his wife Cahterine Mcbroom are a popular influencer couple that publicly post their relationship on a daily basis. While the influencers post things like fancy dinner dates, pictures of their three children all in matching pajamas or Austin buying Catherine a custom pink wrapped Tesla, their relation is not “couple goals” or “the perfect couple.” The couple underwent a cheating scandal in 2021 where Austin was accused of having sexual encounters with multiple women.
Social media is a platform that allows users to post what they want their audience to see, and oftentimes, a rather fake lifestyle.
Growing up, my mother would always emphasize how natural beauty is the key. For a while I agreed and even hardly ever wore makeup.
High school is when things started to change, social media became more popular. Platforms like Instagram became addicting and highly influential.
There’s so many things that social media triggers when in a relationship. For instance, I post a selfie on my story, soon after my phone is buzzing back to back with likes and comments and the first thing my boyfriend will say is “Are those your hoes texting you?” Can I blame him?
It makes me think that maybe he is self projecting and that's what's going on when and if he posts a picture.
I'd like to assume others will agree with me on some of these points, but if not, then I guess the rest of us will remain toxic and slightly “delulu.” Delulu is a newly popular term meaning “delusional” and often used to describe a toxic individual, as Generation Z would say.
My point is, our attachment to social media makes for a toxic relationship. If someone enters a relationship in 2023, they should be prepared to face all types of arguments related to social media and compromise with your partner.
Compromising with your partner can look like many things. For instance, if an individual expresses to their partner that liking half-naked pics of either men or women makes them feel a certain way and they’re clearly uncomfortable, compromise by no longer liking those types of pictures.
I suggest having an open ended conversation at the start of the relationship where both individuals establish what boundaries should be set when it comes to our endless scrolls on social media.
