Romanticization
As long as I’ve been on the internet, which is since 2007, the idea of being mentally ill has always been romanticized.
Romanticization is to think about or describe something as better or attractive than it actually is or to glorify it, according to the Britannica Dictionary.
Being on tumblr, Twitter and Instagram, especially as a teenager, I was constantly exposed to people making their mental illnesses into something “cool” to have.
Now we have TikTok, in which the same concept of romanticization continues strong on the platform and dangerously so.
The trend of making your illness and the factors surrounding it as an “aesthetic” has taken over the platform.
One trend recently was putting your anxiety medications in a candy dispenser from the Dollar Tree.
Now I’m the type of person who loves to respond to ridiculous things I see on TikTok because there’s some ridiculous things on it, but this one video was really just... interesting.
So I responded, angrily, by saying not to put your meds in a candy dispenser. Your meds are packaged in a specific way to ensure they are as effective and as safe as possible.
Obviously, I was a little more casual about it and a lot more straightforward, but it gave me a response that seemed pretty unsurprising considering my past experience.
The video went viral on TikTok, causing massive backlash against me for not allowing people “to just enjoy things” and “what’s wrong with making your mental illness an aesthetic? What’s wrong with making it more fun?”
My video currently has 1.9 million views and more than 400 thousand likes, with comments turned off because the amount of people trying to defend their expired medication so they could look cool was far too much.
All of the arguments were the same: why can’t we enjoy things? Why can’t we make our mental illness an aesthetic? Why is that wrong?
Mental illness is a very real thing, it’s not just something you see Zendaya suffering from on “Euphoria,” where she goes to a bunch of parties with the surrounding characters wearing designer clothing and editorial makeup looks.
I deal with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder (BPD), and the things I’ve done because of what I go through because of it aren't cute, happy or aesthetic.
Bipolar disorder is characterized in episodes that cause unusual shifts in a person’s mood, usually a major depressive episode followed by a manic episode, that causes high levels of elation, mood swings, anger and irritability.
BPD is a personality disorder which can overlap with bipolar, it’s characterized by intense and unstable interpersonal relationships, a distorted sense of self, intense fear of abandonment, usually leading to engaging in dangerous behaviors.
There is nothing cute or romantic about either of these disorders.
There’s also nothing cute about your medications that you have to take in order to control your respective illnesses or disorders, whether it be mental or physical.
I think it’s dangerous that everything in our lives has to now be an aesthetic for social media, and that so many young people on TikTok are fiercely defending having the right to romanticize something that is not a monolith.
Not everyone deals with their mental health issues the same, but having the added pressure of having to curate and aestheticize the problems in your life is not going to make it easier.
Other examples of romanticization of severe mental health illnesses can be found in Sofia Coppola’s film, “The Virgin Suicides,” based on the 1993 novel.
The film follows the stories of five sisters who all end up committing suicide.
The film is known for its luscious and trendy soundtrack. Coppola’s soft and ethereal aesthetic surrounding the films’ characters isn’t clear cut of what it’s like to deal with suicidal ideation and depression.
The movie aims to tackle the topic of what happens when society sensationalizes suicide, and how girls are not seen and objectified without people realizing what they’re actually feeling and going through.
However, the aesthetic of the film is idealized on the internet, romanticized, the cool girl on the football field smoking a cigarette, apathetic and silent, not being seen, just like what Coppola sought out to critique.
Villainization
Romanticization leads into the villainization of mental illness, especially if you don’t fit the mold of what a person who deals with mental health issues looks like.
Villainization is to vilify, to speak ill of someone, to portray as bad, according to Dictionary.com, and this continuously happens not only on social media, but media in general.
The response to me telling people to not be stupid and taking proper care of medications like instructed, also included people accusing me of being “neurotypical,” or someone who doesn’t deal with any mental health issues.
It also included people telling me I was crazy, insane and disparaging as if I couldn’t have a different experience from everyone else who was yelling at me in the comments.
The villainization of mental illness ranges widely throughout the spectrum of mass media, and after being diagnosed with it, you become more aware of the little things that you wouldn’t think of in the first place.
One example that hit me right in the face was during my rewatch of HBO’s iconic series “The Sopranos.”
“The Sopranos” follows Tony Soprano, played by legendary actor James Gandolfini, who is the mob boss of his family in New Jersey, who decides to go to therapy.
In one of the earlier episodes, his therapist Dr. Melfi, played by Lorraine Bracco, talks about how his mother has BPD.
“Other people are just peripherals to these people [who have BPD]. They have no love or compassion,” she said to Tony about his mother.
Sitting there eating my Italian takeout in the delusion of sheltering-in place, hearing this was pretty funny.
I can’t really say for sure if the media has caught up with the portrayal of mental illness since “The Sopranos.”
Netflix’s “13 Reasons Why” is another infamous example of how suicide and severe mental health issues are portrayed.
Its portrayal of suicide was considered to be so bad, Netflix had to pull the scene depicting suicide in one of the show’s episodes, according to a July 16, 2019 New York Times article.
Another example is the villainization of Amber Heard during the defamation trial Johnny Depp brought against after she came forward with allegations of abuse at his hands.
The trial was televised, since Virginia does not have laws against court recordings, according to a June 1, 2022 Rolling Stone article.
Heard’s reputation was destroyed, her sexuality was used against her, her mistakes were put under a microscopic lens and her mental health issues, which includes BPD, was used against her in the trial.
Even though allegations of abuse were confirmed in the UK defamation trial he brought against the tabloid newspaper The Sun in 2020, the social media mob against Heard was quick and severe.
People on TikTok made fun of her testimonies, including ones where she was speaking of being kicked in the back by Depp.
Other examples include cosmetics company Milani, where Heard’s legal team used their concealer palette to cover bruises as a prop for the trial, and made a joke “video” where they said the palette didn’t exist when Heard’s claims happened.
The concealer palette was just used as an example, not the actual palette Heard used when the alleged abuse occurred.
It’s strange a cosmetics company, which has nothing to do with this trial nor these people, were able to use TikTok to pile against the attack on Heard.
Depp essentially won the trial and that Heard’s op-ed where she described sexual abuse and violence, not even naming him in the story, were false and awarded Depp $10 million.
National feminist organizations and domestic violence and sexual assault awareness groups wrote in various statements how this trial set back progress for victims of domestic violence, and the increase of misuse of defamation lawsuits against women who accuse men of abuse, according to an June 2, 2022 NBC News article.
The amplification of the trial on social media also led legal experts to note the jury was not sequestered, which may have influenced the decision against Heard, according to a June 15, 2022 NPR article.
All of these things are connected, it’s one of many situations and issues in a long line of how society perceives mental illness.
