You’ve just finished your “meditative sit” and skimmed through your favorite magazine or scrolled to the ends of your social media feeds.
You start using toilet paper, but you feel that you are missing something.
You want to feel a strong sense of freshness that you know toilet paper can’t provide.
You could take a shower, but that takes too long.
There is only one solution: a bidet.
A bidet is a plumbing fixture used to wash your bumhole after you’ve finished your business.
Bidets are more hygienic than using the classic toilet paper.
Proper and regular use of the bidet decreases the risk of developing hemorrhoids and the spreading of germs and bacterias, according to a June 15, 2021 WebMD article.
These plumber fixtures are common in Italy, Japan, Argentina and Venezuela, according to a July 15, 2018 Insider article.
I grew up in Italy for 19 years, and in my country, bidets are everywhere. They are part of our culture, and it does not feel good walking in a country where you know that people do not use bidets.
After six years, I still wonder how people survive without washing their bumholes.
Bidets are not common in the U.S. and it might be connected to a cultural factor.
About 53% of Americans are unwilling to use a bidet, according to an April 14, 2020 Vox News article.
That is odd to me because I have always connected Americans with some of the most innovative and advanced technological discoveries.
But apparently Americans develop rockets and plan to live on Mars, according to an April 23, 2021 CNBC article, but they can’t fathom the use of bidets.
The issue is that the overall perception of bidets is wrong.
In the U.S., I personally experienced a trend: many people use the term “bidet” to describe any kind of toilet accessory capable of ejecting water to wash your rear.
I am sorry to give you bad news, but there is only one “real” bidet.
A proper bidet is a stand-alone fixture that can be described as a low-sink and it is used to clean your butthole after using the toilet.
Even if using a bidet is not complex, I noticed that many people in the U.S. lack the basic knowledge to do that.
They perceive the bidet as a substitute for toilet papers and that couldn’t be more wrong.
A bidet allows you to wash private parts with your favorite soap, but it is not a toilet-paper substitute.
It is rather intended to be an “extra” for your personal hygiene, so please, don’t get your hands dirty while using a bidet.
Many people also consider baby wipes as a good bidet substitute.
They are certainly easy to use, but there are some drawbacks connected to their usages.
Baby wipes can irritate your skin, cause eczema and/or vaginitis in your private parts and not to mention they are also meant to be thrown in the trash, not to be flushed, according to an April 20 Livestrong article.
I don’t want to imagine the problems you might encounter while trying to clean your bumhole with those baby-size wipes.
Livestrong reporter Jaime Osnato stated in the same April 20 article that the bidet is a “simple, nonchemical, wipe-free” way to wash yourself post-poop, making an excellent alternative to harmful baby wipes.
The only thing capable of addressing all these drawbacks is the bidet.
American indifference toward bidets could be connected to its history.
Bidet use was first reported in France in the 1600s, where only aristocratic women were using the bidet as a “washing basin,” according to a May 18, 2018 article by The Atlantic.
However, when Americans first saw bidets, it was not located in a luxurious and aristocratic environment.
Specifically, American soldiers first saw bidets in French brothels, with sex workers using them to wash their genitals after sex, according to an April 3, 2020 New York Times article.
Probably, the vision of an old prostitute washing her private parts in a porcelain vasin played an important role in influencing the American soldiers and their viewpoint of bidets.
At least those sex workers were using it properly.
Rejecting bidets because of ancient corelations between sex workers is not acceptable anymore.
It is time for the U.S. to abandon the middle ages and embrace the bidet. I don’t want to live in a country where people walk around without washing their rear.
It is nasty.
We learned how to properly wash our hands during the pandemic, so now is the right moment to learn how to wash our private parts as well.
Feel the freshness - and the cleanliness - after pooping.
Once you try a bidet, you won’t ever go back.
