Many religions have specific rituals, traditions and beliefs geared towards making the concept of death easier for people to grasp and accept.
Todd Perreira, San José State religious studies lecturer said there is a reason why so much effort has been put toward this cause.
“My theory is that human beings – we need meaning in our lives,” Perreira said. “It’s not enough just to exist. It's not enough just to be conscious beings. We need meaning in our lives and death, if we’re not prepared for it, (it) can sort of violate all of that.”
SJSU librarian Kathryn Blackmer Reyes said Dia de los Muertos and the relationships she maintains with her dead have helped keep her centered in the face of loss.
Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, is a Mexican holiday in which people create altars with traditional offerings for their lost loved ones as a way to honor them and encourage them to visit from the land of the dead, according to a National Geographic webpage.
“I see it as spiritual,” Blackmer Reyes said. “I’m recognizing those who have impacted my life and certainly the gratitude that I’ve had with them.”
She said Dia de los Muertos has shaped the way she sees death and the connections she keeps with those who have passed on.
“You’re taught to take care of the dead,” Blackmer Reyes said. “It’s not something that I think just comes naturally.
She said she has fond memories of visiting her lost loved ones in Mexico as a child, bringing them Marigolds and cleaning their grave sites, a couple of Dia de los Muertos traditions.
Perreira said these kinds of traditions and rituals are important in helping people cope with the reality of death and their own mortality.
“That sort of comforting reassurance of having the family around you or having those close friends around you, it does sort of help you realize you did touch other people’s lives,” Perreira said. “You did matter, regardless of what your belief is of what’s about to happen once you die.”
Blackmer Reyes said Dia de los Muertos gives her reassurance that she will be cared for after she passes away.
“I just hope that when I die someone will take care of my gravesite,” Blackmer Reyes said. “Not that I’ll know, I don't know, but I think the idea that someone would take the time to find it important to bring me flowers and to cut the grass or wash off my name and say my name. That, to me, just psychologically gives me comfort.”
Many religions have rituals which are similar to those of Dia de los Muertos with the purpose of remembering and honoring those that have passed away.
Funie Hsu, an assistant professor of American studies at SJSU, who was raised in the Taiwanese Humanistic Buddhist tradition, said designated mourning periods are important in times of prayer for both the grieving and the person who passed away.
When someone who practices certain traditions of Buddhism passes away, their loved ones go into a 49 day period of rituals to help free the person’s soul so they may move on and be reborn, according to a Nichiren Buddhist Church webpage.
“I did that after my parents passed away,” Hsu said. “There’s an idea that the person who’s passed away might have attachments to their family and might not want to leave this world and transition into the next world, so you can do many sorts of prayers and ceremonies to encourage them to move on.”
She said when she attends service, the temple is divided into two sides; one for those who are participating in the 49-day service, and the other for those who aren’t.
Hsu said this recognition of those who have experienced a loss is one display of the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism.
The Four Noble Truths are the Buddha’s core teachings and the tenets of Buddhism on human suffering, according to an Oxford Research Encyclopedias webpage.
The Four Noble Truths include teachings of the nature of suffering, the causes of suffering, the end of suffering, and the path that leads to the end of suffering, according to the same webpage.
“You’re constantly dealing with the reality of death,” Hsu said. “It is kind of experiencing the truth of the Four Noble Truths that there is suffering. But then the last noble truth in that is that there is a way out and part of that way out, I think, is being with spiritual friends and practicing Buddhism with spiritual friends.”
Perreira said one common thread in many religions is the recognition that human beings need each other.
“I don't know of a religion where they want you to die alone,” Perreira said. “There’s an inherent recognition that we need each other from beginning to end. We need to be comforted, we need to be reassured. It goes back to this idea of ‘Did I matter? Did my life matter?’ ”
Perreira said Judaism is one strong example of this.
He said in Jewish tradition, the importance of having people around you in life and in death is widely known.
“It’s actually incumbent upon you to be present with those who are dying and to make sure that they’re not alone,” Perreira said.
Shaya Bernstein is the rabbi at Chabad at SJSU, which provides a gathering place for the Jewish students of SJSU, according to its website.
Bernstein said there are a number of ways to make sure dead people are taken care of, even after they're gone.
The “Burial Society,” is the name used for groups of volunteers who are tasked with preparing the body for burial after a Jewish person has passed away, according to the Jewish Museum’s webpage page on death ceremonies.
Bernstein said this responsibility remains the same for those who die of unnatural causes resulting in their body parts being separated from each other.
“Judaism believes only in burial so we’re tasked with giving back our bodies to go back to where we came from in that sense,” Bernstein said. “We believe in trying to give God back the body as much as we can in the way that we got it.”
He said it is important to ensure that each person is buried with dignity.
For this reason, Bernstein said, those preparing the bodies clean them, dressing them in plain clothes and place them in a coffin.
“The biggest pauper and the wealthiest person at funerals — their end of life ceremony will look very very similar,” Bernstein said. “The last chance at receiving some dignity is at the funeral and then after that it’s done for that person. So everyone’s allowed the same level of dignity in that sense.”
Bernstein said, when a Jewish person dies, it is believed that their soul goes to a better place.
Because of this, he said practitioners of Judaism focus less on trying to live a certain way in order to get to heaven, and more on living in the present.
“Jewish tradition has it that even the most vile, terrible person gets there eventually,” Bernstein said. “It’s just kind of a matter of time for them having to wait it out through some sort of redemption process.”
Bernstein said, the first year after the person passes away is a designated time for their loved ones to say a daily prayer so they can reach their final place of rest.
Perreira said he finds humans' innate instinct to remind themselves of death interesting.
“Human beings are interesting because we have to live with the knowledge that we’re gonna die and I haven’t interviewed every dolphin on the planet, but I’m not sure if other animals share that knowledge,” Perreira said. “It’s a curse and a blessing that we are aware of our own mortality.”
