Every year individuals spend hundreds of dollars on KAY Jewelers or materialistic gifts for Valentine’s Day. What is it about those heart-shaped chocolate-covered strawberries and red balloons that have so many lovers buzzing on February 14th?
Valentine's Day can be considered a beautiful holiday to celebrate with a loved one, romantically or platonically. However, many people have different opinions on the holiday itself and the motive can vary to even a psychological aspect.
Patrick Cravalho, a psychology lecturer at SJSU, says the need to give on Valentine’s Day all starts from childhood and we mirror this behavior from childhood.
“From a young age we are told by others that Valentine’s Day is important,” Cravalho said.
Scientists have discovered a continuous pattern of children copying each other and learning this by adapting the behavior from adults, according to a Jan. 27 article from Psych Central.
This is similar to what Cravalho explains about how as a child in class your teacher will probably encourage you to do a Valentine's Day gift exchange and that carries you through adulthood.
“I have three little nieces, and the 6-year-old is already asking me when am I going to get married, ” Cravahlo said.
An Ontario school in California banned Valentine's Day because it was affecting families negatively and putting pressure on students who don't celebrate the holiday, according to a Feb. 4, 2023 article from the National Post.
Carvalho says the holiday does put pressure on others to find a romantic partner to be with but just because you are single doesn't mean there is anything negative about you.
“It is more of a social norm when you’re young and single (that) people don't care, but if you are middle-aged, people are curious as to why you haven't found someone,” Carvalho said.
Individuals often prioritize romantic relationships above anything else and we often forget the importance of platonic relationships, according to a Feb. 12, 2023 article from the Tower.
He says that it is the ideal human state to find someone and show you have someone during Valentine's Day, but there are exceptions for people who are happier by themselves.
“You might not even understand why you feel bad, but you might be single on that day and feel bad,” Carvalho said.
For example, he says, as a child, you will get your test back and get a lower score than your classmate and it's like dating. You might see your friends have partners and you don't, it's referred to as social comparison.
In psychology, social comparison theory suggests that people value their social worth and personal well-being by comparing it with others, according to a May 21, 2024 article by Verywell Mind article.
Debbie Pacheco, a third-year communications student at SJSU, said that Valentine’s Day puts pressure on many couples and she feels that people constantly compare their gifts on social media.
“It’s turning into, ‘if he or she doesn't buy you this then they don’t love you,’” Pacheco said.
Social media can create false illusions of relationships and it can affect your mental health negatively just by viewing it on your screen, according to an Aug. 22, 2023 article from the Hindustan Times.
“I 100% think that the idea of love has changed especially with the rise of social media,” Pacheco said.
Pachecho says you can only catch certain falsified parts of relationships on social media. You mainly see the best parts of people, what they want to show, and rarely the ugly parts.
Social media has an addictive property known as dopamine of continuously going back on applications, according to a June 2, 2022 article by Jefferson Health.
Pacheco says Valentine’s Day can be very important in relationships, especially as a reminder to slow down, spend time with a loved one, and not worry about what to buy.
“I feel like Valentine’s Day has become heavily commercialized with certain commercials or brands targeting a specific audience,” Pacheco said.
Around $24 billion is spent on February 14 by Americans, according to a Hallmark article.
“I don’t think Valentine's Day is about going big, it’s about setting the time to show your appreciation for your significant other,” Pacheco said.
She said showing appreciation can involve a home-cooked meal, sitting down and recreating your first date, or a quality time that is spent just with you and your partner.
Individuals are interpreting the meaning of Valentine's day and using it as a way to compete especially when buying an expensive item, according to a Feb. 13, 2020, Rodola Loves article.
Pacheco said if she could choose anywhere in the world for Valentine's Day she would choose Japan, especially with a partner it makes the experience more beautiful and exciting.
“Even at a neurological level what happens to you as you grow up and in relationships stay with you,” Cravalho said.
Janessa Gil,a third-year kinesiology student at SJSU, said Valentine’s Day is important because it allows you to see how your partner loves you and it's not about what you buy but what comes from the heart.
“You're constantly thinking I have to buy this candy or I need to buy something right away and commercial influence this removing the purpose of Valentine's Day,” Gil said.
Gil said she does not see too much pressure on Valentine’s Day unless your partner over-thinks a lot even if you do it yourself or put too much pressure on your partner for gift giving.
“If you have paper at home, you can do something simple and not go all out like the commercials want you to,” Gil said.
Gil said commercials are unrealistic because they pay actors to do the commercials for you and it's not real love there is nothing real about it.
“Give yourself self-love before receiving it romantically,” Gil said.
