Romance is simple.
Sometimes it’s complicated and messy, sometimes it’s unexpectedly sad and cathartic.
From a societal perspective, romance is grand gestures like chasing someone to stop them from getting on a plane and confessing your love, holding a boombox outside someone's window, or buying a big bouquet of flowers for someone.
To me, romance is as simple as touching, like holding hands.
Romance is having someone smile at you on the other side of the dining table when you don’t notice them, noticing you.
Romance can be many things, but the one thing it should never be is dead.
Look at how easy the idea of romanticizing is with just words alone:
Our intertwined fingers affirm that divinity comes from passion and simple touch as my finger moves in a circular motion around yours and I seek to feel no more of you for I am complete and rid of touch depravity from just the bliss of your soft index finger.
Through touching your skin I can trace you into a whole constellation and be immersed in your beauty every night.
I wrote this but it sounds like it’s straight out of a fucking Jane Austen novel, it’s that easy.
Romance should be kept alive in all relationships, whether you are being romantic and attentive to someone or receiving that treatment.
Romance and effort do not have to be between two people who are intimately involved either. It can be platonic love too.
Platonic love is named after the philosopher Plato and it describes the concept of a non-sexual type of love that we feel through compatibility, according to a 2022 article by Psych Central.
It’s the development of what I like to think of as a non-romantic soulmate who one feels in tune or aligned with.
Platonic love is the kind of love you feel with your good friends, siblings, mom, or your dog.
No matter what kind of relationship it is, each one deserves effort and attention.
Yes, I will be showering my boyfriend with kisses and chocolate on Valentine’s Day, but I’m also going to call my mom to talk and laugh.
I’m going to go out with my girlfriends. I’m going to send my sister a digital Valentine’s Day card. I'm going to buy my dog a Valentine's Day chew toy.
Most importantly I'm going to dress myself in the cutest pink outfit, savor every bite of chocolate and smell every flower.
Love, romance and affection should span out like an ocean in your life.
My mother gave me life and is the reason I am capable of feeling emotions like love.
My sister has raised me, taught me and given me advice about love, while also showing me what love should look like. She has always set the standard.
My boyfriend is my first love and hopefully my last. He’s the person I stare at across a dining table when he doesn’t notice as I think about how lucky I am to have him.
He is my favorite person to talk to and write to.
Allowing myself to feel my emotions strongly is self-love and my form of romance for myself.
I give myself room to grow, learn and make mistakes. Through every good and bad day, I take care of myself even if it’s as simple as eating a good dinner or listening to my favorite music.
I take myself out, watch my favorite shows, do my daily facial routine and read books. I expose myself to all the new opportunities I can get.
As I get older I’ve noticed it gets easier and easier to take people in your life for granted, sometimes even yourself.
Sometimes I get so busy with school and other responsibilities that I don’t prioritize date nights or affection, I forget to call my mom or sister or I don’t take time to relax.
Sometimes the rough patches I have with myself or other people in my life make me forget about romance.
But love and romance are ineffable because it’s so profound and intense when you feel it.
It's the best feeling. People don’t appreciate it enough.
I really relate to what hip-hop/rap artist Mac Miller said in a YouTube video interview once, “Man, love is underrated. I think people think it’s like a cheesy, corny thing to always be like loving and having a positive energy about you.”
In the YouTube video, he goes on to say that he used to feel like a more interesting and creative person and artist when he was depressed or negative, but he doesn’t think that way anymore because it isn’t true.
I agree with him, that is not true!
I’ve fallen into a vicious cycle of thinking that being sad all the time and avoiding love makes you interesting and alluring.
It doesn't! Enjoy love and romance in every stage of your life.
I’m in my 20s and I want to enjoy the experience of young love as I currently do in my first relationship.
I want to experience different kinds of love at every age and learn from it.
Even with family, sure, your siblings and parents will always be in your life, but those relationships are still important and deserve routine maintenance.
Romance and love is like watering a garden; you won’t see it flourish if you don’t put in the work.
Love and romance are the kind of things that make couples verbally sync into this adorable pattern of speaking when people ask, “So how did you guys meet?”
It’s like their answer to that question was rehearsed beforehand and they (the couple) stare at each other and smile — you just know that expression on their face is bliss.
With the right person, romance will never feel forced.
If you haven’t met that person yet, you have yourself.
Buy yourself some chocolates or flowers on Valentine's Day, call your mom or have a nice dinner with your partner. Remember the little things too.
Be kind to yourself and everyone around you.
Write letters that end with, “P.S. I love your smile and everything about you. You’re so amazing and I'm so lucky to have you in my life.”
Even if your life is a little gloomy now, this is your reminder that every feeling is temporary, even love and romance.
Treasure it for the beautiful catastrophe that it is.
