Garrick Percival, political science professor and department chair has been married to his wife Mary Currin-Percival, political science associate professor for almost 22 years. Percival believes that after 25 years together in total, marriage never stops the learning and evolution a person goes through over their lifetime.
“ ‘You started riding your bike again,’ ” Maryl said to her husband.
“He's started seriously riding again, and it's a little scary what he does, but I just have to be okay with it because it's something that gives him great joy and it's healthy for him,” she said.
Maryl said that despite her fears of Garrick’s competitive and rigorous cycling, she must celebrate his hobby because it is part of who he is and he wouldn’t be himself without it.
“There's a part of me that's terrified that he's gonna go flying off a mountain, but I have to suppress that thought a little bit and appreciate that it's part of who he is,” Mary said.
Garrick said change is inevitable as the years go by while in a long-term relationship or marriage, and being able to grow alongside someone is rare but possible.
“We're certainly not the same people that we were 25 years ago, I think if you're able to grow with your partner, that's really important, and I think we’ve been able to do that,” Garrick said.
The statistics for how long an average relationship usually lasts is based on age because it factors in a couple’s level of maturity and gained experience, according to an article by Love to Know.
Young adults in their early 20s have average relationships lasting 2 to 4 years and 30 to 59 years olds reported being married 10 years or more, according to the same article.
The longevity of relationships and the likelihood of maintaining healthy and functional love relies on the journey a person goes through of their understanding of what love is and looks like.
The divorce rate in the United States rose slightly in 2022 to 14.56 divorces per 1,000 married women, according to statistics by Bowling Green State University.
“His (Garrick’s) parents stayed together until his dad passed away, my parents divorced when I was pretty young. So I think his parents were a much better example of a relationship. So I turned to him for guidance,” Mary said.
Garrick said even though his examples of relationships in his early life were successful ones, he still did not always know what he was doing during the relationship but he managed to learn on the job with Currin-Percival.
Experience and expectations prior to relationship
Business administration junior Nataly Pham and her boyfriend Julian Picar, a political science junior, said they have been in a committed relationship for three and a half years and were friends for 2 years before entering a relationship.
Pham said she is the polar opposite of Picar and it definitely shows in their personalities, but their core values and goals align immaculately.
Pham says she felt enamored by Picar from the gentle way he treated her, which is a standard Pham has for any partner. She said this standard of having an appreciative and attentive partner is a contrast to the example of love she grew up with.
“Coming from a really Asian household, my dad always just went to work, he made that his priority and my mom wanted to be pampered and taken out on dates and stuff like that,” Pham said.
“My dad was always busy, so they weren't role models (relationships) to me, but it helped me figure out what I needed and the things I want and don't want or the things I would consider red flags.”
Picar said his prior experience of what love looks like was different from that of Pham’s because his father died when he was 3 years old.
Picar said he’s still been able to put together an idea of what kind of example his dad set through stories and family videos.
“From stories I've heard about my parents and stuff, one big thing they did in their relationship was compromise,” Picar said. “Each person has their things that they want or that they dislike but they can come together and find a middle ground.”
Picar and Pham have used both these prior experiences, expectations and insight in fine-tuning their relationship and like all other couples, learning as they go.
Picar said that part of being polar opposites includes their different communication styles. He said when conflict arises he prefers having time to himself to think before talking, and Pham likes to discuss and problem-solve immediately.
“In the heat of the argument, people don’t always necessarily remember like ‘Oh, yeah, he needs this and she needs this.’ ” Picar said. “Sometimes we might take things personally, she might feel like, I don't care about it or I'm in need of space and I feel like she's being insensitive with the time that I need to be separated. it's something that we're still working on.”
Pham and Picar said that even though they are still working on some parts of their relationship, they always persevere through bad times and embrace good times through the strength of both their friendship and relationship.
Rough patches
Justice studies and criminology freshman Ariana Diaz is the daughter of Olga Saucedo and Manuel Diaz, who have been together for 28 years and married for 25 years.
Diaz said her parents' relationship has faced some challenges over the years like most relationships do, but they’ve always overcome all of those challenges through a balance of space, support and open communication through rough times.
“I've seen them happy with their marriage, even when things get hard,” Diaz said. “Which is why I feel like open communication and talking stuff out and everything has really worked and has been able to help make a functional and happy marriage that has lasted for so long.”
Diaz said when her grandpa, who was the patriarch of the family, passed away it put her father in a lot of emotional distress and it affected his marriage with Diaz’s mother.
Diaz said her mom was not surprised or overly upset because she understood what a hard time it was for all of the family, and especially for her own husband.
“She (Olga) knew to give him his space during such a hard time,” Diaz said. “Thinking kind of like ‘Okay, figure this out, take the time to grieve and cry it out, whatever you need to do, and if you need me I'm here for you.”
Diaz said, including this experience of loss, that she noticed growing up that her parents always made small meaningful gestures as important steps toward healthy reconciliation.
Diaz said the kind of communication and effort her parents have in their relationship has set a standard for her in her own romantic life.
Growing together and communication
Sociology senior Guadalupe Barron said she and her boyfriend Alejandro Lopez have been together for seven years since 8th grade and are getting married in the summer of 2025.
Barron said they started off as classmates and friends, and she views their relationship now to still be a progression of their friendship and deep connection.
She said one of the most important things she learned growing up and learning with her long-term partner was how to communicate, even when it comes to uncomfortable conversations.
“It's something that was new to both of us, especially for me coming from a family that didn't communicate about things,” Barron said. “I think just having really uncomfortable conversations with each other and having open honest communication is key.”
Barron said early on in the relationship, she and Alejandro also learned how to spend time apart and grow into individual people while still being in a committed relationship.
She said this boundary benefited her relationship in the long run, because growing outside the relationship and still maintaining the relationship itself kept things functional and healthy, because she and Alejandro did not base their personalities on each other.
Barron said she is very excited to get married, but not too worried about it because she feels like they’ve been married symbolically forever, after being in a relationship for so long.
She said she can’t predict what to expect from marriage or how it will change her relationship but she feels ready for the union of her and Alejandro and of their families.
The key to longevity
Amy Caffrey, psychology professor and licensed marriage and family therapist, said she believes the secret to longevity in a relationship or marriage is communication, honesty, respect, shared experiences, relationship equality, resolution skills, laughter and gratefulness.
“Remember what you love about your partner and be grateful every day,” Caffrey said. “Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ laugh a lot together and talk to each other – always.”
Garrick Percival said having a sense of humor is very important to learn how to be comfortable with someone and is the key to a long-lasting relationship, along with being able to offer support in any way possible and listening as best you can.
“I think that when you're looking for someone who makes you feel good, who you feel comfortable around, you can share a lot of the same kinds of experiences together that’s as lucky as you’ll ever get and so that’s Mary for me.”
